over again

Have you ever cared for someone so much it has at times made you a nervous wreck? Despite prayers upon prayers the feelings are still there. Sometimes there is a peace, and it is a wonderful peace. One that everything is going to work fine. And it will. But here and now things look so chaotic. And this one instance has infiltrated it's way into every aspect of life to where any daily routine can be encountered with the sudden flow of tears. I have not cried much over the past three years, but within the past three months I have made up more ground than most will do in a lifetime I believe. Everything in me is just short of screaming how much I wish of things. Not in a violent manner, but in a fairly calm modus.

Human interactions are so complicated due to a great number of things; but the ultimate complicator is the one thing I have dedicated my life to first and foremost, which is my faith. And so in the midst I cling to faith. Asking for a answer. Hoping for a calm heart. Hoping for a change of heart. Just hoping that the consistent beating won't stop and I will live another day. Even if what to come is another sleepless night.