life turns

somethings are not really all that well explained. such things as to why my life has come to where it is today. i recently lost my job, which has lead me to a bit of free time. lots of sitting, listening to music, thinking, and other things which might normally come with such great amounts of time. i've spent a bit of this time with a few individuals who have reminded me of where i came from. who i was years ago. and i've missed much of that. when did i allow life to get so complicated? when did everything in the world become so uptight and disinterested in anything but their own satisfaction? when did my heart become afraid to be me? it never fully disappeared, but it's as if i went into hiding with this new discovery of the world. as though life previously wasn't good. while i've grown in my understanding of how i believe things should interact, this really shouldn't have changed the root of my hopes for life. it's time for a bit of change i suppose.