a short thought

when did it become a problem to be a nice guy? i have come to realize this isn't really accepted well. not that i am the ultimate nice guy, because i'm not, but i have found that in various situations i need to be more aware of things. let's say there is a female involved, and i, trying to be who i am, hold a friendly conversation in which i am genuinely interested in this individuals well being and thus desire to hear their story. well, this backfires as i soon find out they were taking it as i am interested in them in a manner which i had not intended. there was nothing out of the ordinary in how i treated them, in fact i convince myself that if they saw me interacting the same way with others they would soon see that it is just the character i like to portray, a friendly caring individual.

this backfired many years ago when i decided it would be a brilliant idea to kiss all of my friends on the cheek. this did not go over so well for one girl who took it as i liked her, and upon her seeing me give another individual a kiss on the cheek she became very upset with me because in her mind i was showing interest in another. that is when i decided i had to stop the kiss on the cheek bit. it was like communism, good in theory...

on a different level, not nearly as interesting to discuss, when you interact with members of the same sex in a friendly caring manner it does not always go over very well either. i have seen it many times become a reason for questioning ones motives, as if we don't trust this person at all. or maybe they are trying to make up for something they have done and we are yet to discover, or even worse they are prepping us for what is about to come. those sneaky bastards, trying to pull the wool over our eyes... can't let that happen.

it is ridiculous. why is it so hard to believe and accept that some people really just want to be nice people. i may not have been this way years ago, but somewhere along the line i decided i like being nice; well, most of the time. at least i don't really like playing the role of the jerk, because i know what it's like to think of another as a jerk, and there isn't much nice to say other than they are jerks (i don't need anything except this ashtray, and the paddle game).

so here is to jerks. and nice people. and people who can't seem to believe there are no ulterior motives.